My name is Samantha Jean Jasso, and I am currently an Active Duty Soldier and Medic in Charlie Company, 10 BSB.
I turned 28 while at Basic Training at Fort Jackson in 2012 and recently had my 31st birthday. I have been serving at Fort Drum from July 10, 2012 to present. I have met some of the coolest and most caring people in the military (Veterans too!). It takes courage, sacrifice, and love to say, “I may get wounded, injured, and die, but I am willing to serve my country and willing to help those in need and suffering.”
In August of 2007, I graduated Cum Laude from Texas Tech University with a Bachelors Degree in Human Development and Family Studies, which is about enhancing and improving the human condition. After graduating, I worked, went to graduate school for a while, and later went back to working. Joining the Army was never a dream, goal, or back up plan of mine; it was a God appointed opportunity. When I was looking for jobs in mental health (that’s how I like to help people), the Army was looking for mental health specialists. I went to my Army Career Center (that no longer exists) and talked to the recruiter about the MOS. It wasn’t available and I had to wait a year and I didn’t want to. When I decided on “Healthcare Specialist” the recruiter told me we could start the process and if I changed my mind it would be ok. I told him that I would give him an answer the next day.
I prayed that night for peace about joining the Army and afterwards, I believed I was going to be ok (there were times I definitely didn’t feel ok, but I have made it this far!). The next day I told my recruiter to start the process. That day my Mom asked me if I was joining and I told her yes. She told me afterward that she believed that was what I was going to do. I enlisted into the United States Army and even though I been through a lot since I joined, I have no regrets. My greatest fear about joining the Army, was if I could physically and mentally make it through training and if I had the skills and ability to become an effective Soldier. The picture of me in the dress was taken at the Battalion Ball in June 2014.
I come from a big family and I have other relatives who serve in the military. My Grandpa Jasso got drafted to serve in WWII but did not get deployed as the war was at the end. Uncle Arturo G Ramos was drafted in 1966 and started at Fort Bliss, then headed to San Antonio. He served in Vietnam as a Combat Medic and left the Army in 1968 as a SGT. He would talk to other Veterans about his experiences and had flashbacks. He died in 2005. My second Cousin Justin Roubidoux served in the U.S. Army September 18, 2008 to August 11, 2011 as a Combat Engineer. He came in as an E-2 and left as an E-4 promotable. He deployed to Iraq in 2009 and went through a lot dealing with his PTSD. He was treated as if nothing was wrong. He spoke about how Soldiers like him battled with depression defending our country and just need someone to talk to. His friend’s battle ended up with him taking his own life because no one would hear him out or was there for him.
During May 2001, I was on the roof of one of the Twin Towers; I was with my high school choir on a trip (we got to sing at St.Patrick’s Cathedral). On September 11, 2001, I was taking my 2002 Senior Class group picture before school started. I learned that the Twin Towers had been attacked when we got back to class. We stayed at school but had no school that day. I was confused and scared. I knew we were going to war. Ten years after the Twin Towers had been attacked I officially enlisted into the United States Army.
Since 9/11, I am one of the very few who hasn’t deployed. I was on the list to back in 2012, but then fewer personnel we’re needed so I got cut. The hardest part of that for me was some of my battles were hoping that I was deploying with them. I felt sad that I was not going to be right by their side for them. But my battles asked me to pray for them. Another hard thing was that I might lose someone I know and lose someone on the deployment. I see the struggles my battle buddies/comrades have after a deployment(s). They stare off into space, shake when they tell their stories, get jumpy, look depressed/sad/indifferent and get angry. Some of them avoid small spaces, dark places, and/or crowded places. Some of them talk about the dead bodies, battles and comrades they have lost, about not being able to help and save a life (lives), about how they did what they were told, and how they killed who needed to be killed. Many of them sleep little, having nightmares and flashbacks. Many of them cry at night, struggling to heal, connect, and love. Many struggle with guilt, forgiveness, their purpose, and their worth to live.
What if my Grandpa would have deployed? What if my visit at the World Trade Center would have been the day America got attacked? What if life would have gone the way I wanted it to? I may not be where I am at today, and that is to fulfill my purpose, which is this: To help to not leave a comrade behind. I am in my last year of the Army. Some of the Soldiers who joined and grew up abused, never began the healing process from it, and when they came back from war, their pain and struggles grew heavier.
I have been diagnosed with depression, so I can relate to the feelings of sadness, tears, not wanting to do anything, not wanting to be around people, not having energy, not wanting to participate in activities you usually enjoy, trying different medications, knowing you have a purpose but feeling like you are just there, existing, being moody, struggling to think, struggling to function, hoping you don’t feel those ways and struggle with those things the next day, feeling like you have a blanket of weights on you, being extremely sad, wondering when you will feel good, feel like yourself, be happy. It’s a struggle to stay motivated and keep yourself together at work and during training while feeling and dealing with those things.
In June, with the help from I WAS THERE FILM WORKSHOP, I will be creating a video about depression, suicide, and ways to bring awareness and help to those in need.
~ SPC Jasso, Samantha Jean
United States Army
We are very grateful to Samantha for sharing her personal story of family, service and loss with Comes A Soldier’s Whisper, where we are all connected. Hope very appropriate that this posting was scheduled on the day of Cinco de Mayo!
God Bless all who serve and keep us safe.
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www.VietnamAndBeyond.com
