This is a picture of me on my last day in the jungles of Vietnam.

I was in Vietnam and served in D Co., 1Battalion 5th Marine Regiment and the Ist Marine Division 1970 to 1971 as a Rifleman and then Squad Leader. The young 18 and 19 year-old soon-to-be boys to men were mostly poor black and white boys from the north and south who risked their lives for each other. Many were not really very religious. But every time we took over a hill, someone would always take two pieces of old board or sticks, make a cross and tie it together. I got a tattoo at home on my forearm where it could be seen as 2 boards tied together. Silly huh?

We had this very young Chaplain that came out to the Bush after one of the worst battles that we had in a while. I was there on a resupply Chopper. It was still very dangerous. He prayed for us and almost everyone that could was there with him. He gave out crosses for every religion. I still have mine. He could have stayed safe in rear area but stayed with us. We lost several men in that battle. Here are these big bad Marines crying on each other’s shoulders. This was the other side of combat. But you can bet that not one Marine would have left the battle unless all could go to safety in rear area.

We did not have battles every day and had many boring and very hot days walking through the jungle. We had packs on our backs weighing 70 to 100 lbs. Each man had to carry his food, supplies and a rocket or two for the 60mm Mortar along with 3 grenades or more and a C-4 for demolition. The rocket crew could not carry the heavy weapon and a couple hundred rounds for the M-60 machine gun.

The soldiers humped through heavy jungle with grass that would cut you and your uniform and all while looking for the enemy. You had to hit the ground ready to return fire on enemy, while quickly trying to get your pack off your back. This all happened very quickly and was usually confusing at first. You can see tracer bullets in the air all over you. One out of every six rounds was a tracer. Then there would be five more that you didn’t see. It was so thick at times you could not raise your hand without it being hit by a bullet. Later we start to realize what is going on and Fire team leaders (1 for 4 marines) and Squad Leaders (1 for 16-19 marines) start yelling commands what to do by just yelling or certain signals! We fight like this and when we seem to be getting best of them or Choppers have come to help! We had this command called on-line assault where you had to start firing and get up and start toward the enemy walking best we could while firing and changing Magazines through what was sometimes a thick jungle. We had to keep glancing (when we could) left and right to try to keep our line with each other straight as possible not to shoot our buddies.

As we got to where they were when they hit us, if there was enemy on ground we shot two rounds into them to make sure they couldn’t shoot us from behind. I can still see some of their faces and eyes. You just had to put it out of your mind. You had to do your job and keep you buddies alive. After the fighting was over guys would look around to see who was wounded or dead. I still remember young Marines lying on the ground bleeding, crying for their mothers, “I want to go home, help me”. Most were off to hospital and lived but a few died and we put them in body bags to be taken away on Chopper. This story may sound terrible, but it was a hundred times worse in real life. There are still things that happened to a grunt (infantry) in the hot dangerous jungles of Vietnam, things I cannot talk about. Most of us will never be the same after losing our youth in Vietnam.

I have had some issues since I came home. But my problems came soon after getting home. I was home in ten days. PTSD and other combat related issues are bad now matter when it hits you. When I came home there was no VA help, since they did not believe in it. My small town local VA Representative just told me I had nothing wrong with me, and that all I needed was to go get a damn job. I also had Colon Cancer at age 51, kind of early. I think Agent Orange caused it. The VA would do nothing about it and I had to pay myself. I am okay now after the operation and they took out 4 feet of Colon. I also got Diabetes soon after and not one person on either side of my family ever had it. Agent Orange strikes again! About five years ago, the VA started helping me after they agreed that Agent Orange caused the Diabetes. I am making it but my feet are slowly going numb. Thanks VA for helping. Now I do mean it!

But I still would have liked a Parade or at least a thank you for your Service! I do get that lately and am also happy about it!
Semper Fi and God Bless America!!!
~ Cliff Roberson, Vietnam USMC Veteran

STORY LINK: medium.com/@SoldiersWhisper/most-of-us-will-never-be-the-same-4729463bfe9e#.ng9k5tbdo

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