It is said, that the good die young, and David Livingston Tharp most definitely left us all too soon by passing away on July 14, 2009.

David was my brother. He made us all proud by serving, not one, but two tours of duty for this country. He matured in to a fine man, of which our Family can be proud, offering affection, sensitivity, respect and friendship to all. Like our father, he was a man of honor and integrity to his very core.

My brother, who served in the Persian Gulf spoke to our veteran 101st Airborne father about having guilt serving during peaceful times. Apparently, he felt that he had to be in combat at all times, as our father was in the 4 European battle campaigns of D-Day, Carentan, Holland and the Battle of the Bulge. But, Dad was quick to remind him that it was just as stressful never knowing when the opposition could attack. Although this insight helped our brother temporarily, he went into a full blown out depression after our father’s death and weight gain from 200 to 400 pounds.

Many men like my father, brother, my former spouse, a Vietnam veteran and countless others like them did not immediately seek help with the VA, but tried to self heal in the only way they knew how by just living their lives… The belief was, “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it,” and they didn’t realize that something had been broken to begin with. They returned home and were expected to resume life as it was before. But that is not enough, as often PTSD does not always surface immediately and can often be triggered by additional loss down the road, such as a family member or friend’s passing, illness or job loss… My father, brother and ex-husband encountered all of these and more.

Although I was never prepared for my father’s passing at age 74, he did live a full life. For men and veterans like my brother who was only 51, they leave us too soon. Our family did not see the signs, nor did we understand what was happening to David who suffered from deep depression, severe weight gain and violent outbursts. At first, I thought it was due to Dad’s death, because Dave never stopped crying since his funeral in January 1999. My brother and I spoke every single day. I was his cheerleader, his confidant and go to person to lift his spirits. In that last year of his life, I convinced him to go to the VA for a PTSD assessment. He was diagnosed with PTSD and Sleep Apnea and was given strict directives to wear the CPack oxygen mask which he wore with regularity. But with a broken heart along with a heart attack which followed, he left us all too soon.

We need a boot camp kind of push to consistently improve the transition of all military as well as the families of the returning soldier’s ultimate return back to civilian life as done with OPERATION FIRST RESPONSE , working through each phase of emotions-or lack thereof-somewhat the way a diver decompresses slowly before resurfacing. We also need to educate families of the warning signs of PTSD, so they can get the help needed. War and service changes a soldier. It changes his family too.

For Caregiver &/or Veteran Support Services, please visit the following links:
www.caregiver.va.gov/
www.caregiver.va.gov/support_services.asp
www.operationfirstresponse.org/

Military/History Books: jennylasala.com/