Forty Five years ago on the day before Easter, I took my new 8mm camera with me on an Air Mobile Combat Assault into the Song Ve Valley, Vietnam. At that time the Song Ve Valley was a very bad place because of the many VC and NVA in the area. We hated to go there.
I started filming before the birds picked us up and didn’t stop until after we landed. I wasn’t able to see the results until 7 months later. After returning from Vietnam I threw the film in the closet and didn’t view them again for 40 years. When I looked at them Easter Sunday 1971 came back to me like a ton of bricks. On that day Chaplain Merle Brown came out into the bush where we were located in his Huey with hot food and gave us Easter service and communion. I was blessed to sit next to him while he joined us for lunch and we had a very personal discussion about faith. He was a fine man and I felt I had made a new friend.
He was picked up and flown a short distance from our position. He did the same thing for the guys there and when his bird came back to pick him up all hell broke loose. His bird was shot down, he and 10 other brave men went to be with their Lord. I watched as his bird came to retrieve him and can never forget the explosions and thought he was dead or gravely injured. I could not believe only 9 days before another new friend, Lt. Glenn Hata was killed as we were ambushed. Glenn and I laughed about both of us lived in southern California, as I walked away I turned around to wave and saw him killed. It also makes me remember a few months before Chaplain Brown, my new friend, two other new friends, Vern Zornes and Rob Runge were killed in an ambush and Vern died in my arms.
When I first got to Vietnam I was told not to get too close to the other soldiers. I guess I didn’t listen and paid a price for it. When I came back from Vietnam I made close friendships with three guys who died before I turned 30. One, Steve Larsen became my business partner and roommate and I will never forget the day I was called by another friend to tell me Steve had died that day. Then in 2009 Kerry Harwick, one of my best buddies in Nam and afterwards, died of cancer. I believe he died from our exposure to Agent Orange.
This is a very hard time for me, today and tomorrow, Easter Sunday. I will remember and celebrate great times we had. It is hard for me to get close to anyone these days, except my wife Coni G Wolf and I apologize to her when I have gotten a little distant from her at times. I am distant from everyone these days and stay in my cave, the place I feel safe. I am a Vet with PTSD which the VA has treated me for over 3 years, but I have been denied disability because they said my PTSD might not be due to my military service?
I need to go to Confession tomorrow and ask for forgiveness for those I have gotten very distant from. They probably never knew or understood any of the above. Maybe I just give this to the pastor because it will be difficult to verbalize to him.
To all, have a blessed Easter Sunday and enjoy family and those around you.
~ John C. Wolf, Vietnam Vet
STORY LINK: medium.com/…/this-is-a-very-hard-time-for-me-today-…
God Bless all who serve and keep us safe.
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